I named my son Jeremiah. Giving our aborted children names also gives them dignity and acknowledges their existence and time here on Earth, even as limited as that time may have been.
The Jeremiah of the Bible was a prophet speaking warnings to God’s people. Although I took my son’s ability to speak for himself, I am endeavoring to speak on his behalf now. The verses of the book of Jeremiah are incredibly challenging but reassuring and hopeful at the same time.
This topic of abortion that I’m not only talking about but sharing through my own deeply personal experiences with the world is not something I do lightly or flippantly. I know full well what a highly debated issue this is. Although no one has commented in the negative as of yet, I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who feel strongly about my writings in several directions.
But I stand on God’s word and press forward, “But the Lord said to me, ‘Do not say I am only a child.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,’ declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 1:7-8. Sometimes I feel like a child when the world around me is buzzing by, and I can’t keep up with the current topics of the day. But on the flipside, I’m confident in what I do know, and I’m ok with lagging behind in other areas. Remembering the Lord’s promise to be with me and rescue me is a constant reassurance, especially as I have actually experienced His rescuing several times throughout my life.
Before my son was conceived, before I was even conceived, God knew him and He knew me. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5. In yesterday’s blog, Day 5, I shared that my dad saved my life by stopping my mom from having an abortion. My dad is my hero, but he does not get all of the credit. God also had a hand in saving my life. He created me in the first place, and had a plan for me. God is also my hero!
The Jeremiah of the Bible received mocking and insult for his proclamation of God’s word, and when it was too much for him to bear he tried to stop sharing it in order to save himself the painful reactions of the people. But he couldn’t stop, “if I say, ‘I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,’ his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones, I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.” Jeremiah 20:9. Although I have not yet received insult or mocking, I often receive silence instead. This reaction, although kinder than insults, has its own difficulties to bear. Is anyone listening? Are my efforts even worthwhile? I may ask myself. But in my heart, I know that the answers to these musings don’t matter. It’s not for my own renown or glory that I write or speak. I’m not looking for approval or encouragement. It’s for the reaction in the heart of the reader, and it’s for the glory of the Lord. I understand the intimacy of this topic, and the difficulties a person may have in commenting publicly. I rejoice in the Lord in knowing that He is my encouragement and He is doing a work in the heart of the reader as I share His Word. He has saved my life on several more occasions than just my birth, and I know He had a purpose in doing so. And for this reason, I cannot hold back His Word.
Naming my baby after such a fighter and proclaimer of difficult topics as Jeremiah was perfectly fitting. This process, first saying hello by choosing a name and then goodbye as I gave him a proper memorial has given me the ability to bond with him. As I continue to talk about my son he becomes more and more a part of my life here on Earth. I know that someday I will see him in heaven, and I look forward to that day with great joy.