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22 Days for 22 Years

I wrote this series leading up to my first journey to the March for Life in Washington DC in 2014. The series is not only about my anticipation of participating in such a monumental national event, but the journey through the years it took me to be ready for such a journey, and to prepare my family to support me on such a journey. One might not think that anyone who’s actually had an abortion would go to such lengths and march against it. But we are in the crowd nonetheless. Here’s my story as to why.

Questions About Abortion?

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Questions About Abortion?

After reading some or all of my blog, do you have any questions that I haven’t addressed? As someone who has experienced the trauma of abortion, hidden the shame for two decades, gone through healing for myself, learned how to talk to my children about it, and currently help lead others through healing, I can provide a wide range of help from many different perspectives. You can comment as “anonymous,” and I will respect your privacy by not responding to anyone by name. I may be able to reply quickly in the comments, or I...

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#22 – Life & Love for ALL

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#22 – Life & Love for ALL

I was privileged to witness people of all ages and generations, all races, all religions as well as non-religious, from all over the country and even the world, march for a cause today that is not political or religious, but a cause for humanity, the cause of life. I don’t have much time to write before I board the bus to head back home, so for now I will let pictures speak for themselves. Please be encouraged that life is worth fighting for, and this is NOT a losing battle, NOT an impossible cause to overcome. In fact more and more...

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#21 – To DO

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#21 – To DO

I’ve been praying for God to do some amazing things over the past few decades since He captured my heart, and it’s been awesome to watch Him exceed my expectations. Transforming me from a silent and fearful prisoner of war of sorts into a bold and outspoken blog warrior sharing my abortion story potentially with the world has been one of those moments. One of my favorite verses is Ephesians 3:20-21, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him...

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#20 – Some Dreams Already Come True

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#20 – Some Dreams Already Come True

On this 20th day of remembering and honoring my son, I found myself standing next to a 20-year old young man at a peaceful prayer vigil this morning in front of an abortion clinic in Washington DC, on this Martin Luther King Jr. Day. The symbolism of all of this has so many layers, but I will focus on the young man, whose name is Sean. I captured Sean’s prayerful shadow along with his rosary as we began our journey here this week leading us up to the March for Life on Wednesday. I am not Catholic, but I’m traveling with a mostly...

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#19 – A Countenance of Joy & Love

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#19 – A Countenance of Joy & Love

As I prepare to head out on this 40th Sanctity of Human Life Sunday to share my abortion story at a new church, I can’t help but revisit a familiar conflict. Since I’ve begun to share my story publicly, I have questioned my own countenance of JOY as I relate the knowledge of my son’s home in heaven and the certainty of someday meeting him. My concern has been to convey proper and right emotions, fitting my actions and beliefs. It’s such a humble and delicate place of conflicting emotions to impart. I have been...

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#18 – Ducks in a Row

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#18 – Ducks in a Row

This may make absolutely no sense, but in my mind I felt that I needed to create the perfect life scenario, you know, get my ducks all in a row, before I could purposely get pregnant this time and have my first child. I felt that by doing this I could validate the loss and sacrifice of my first child, my son. It was as if I could make my abortion decision ok by my future actions. I know now that this is impossible. But it took a message from God to get through to my brain that my logic was not adding up. The criteria I set in place to achieve...

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#17 – Cancer Sucks & Abortion Sucks Too

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#17 – Cancer Sucks & Abortion Sucks Too

There’s no question, cancer sucks! But what many don’t realize is that abortion sucks too. I’ve gone through both, and speaking only for myself here, abortion was harder for me to recover from and live with than cancer was. I was diagnosed with colon cancer 2 1/2 years ago at the age of 38. The word cancer was so scary to me and my husband, but we instantly made phone calls and posts on our Facebook pages asking for prayers and support. We were instantly flooded with a ton of support, love and encouragement, from my family...

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#16 – Abortion Grief

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#16 – Abortion Grief

Abortion grief is both similar and different for many people. For some, the grief is immediate, while for others it takes years before the full weight of the matter is felt and/or recognized. Sometimes there is a mysterious grief or depression that is not even linked back to the abortion even when seeing a counselor or therapist. My grief was both immediate and insidious. Since I didn’t want the abortion to begin with, I had to sort of turn off my brain in order to carry myself through the motions of that day. At the same time I turned...

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#15 – Pruning: Painful but Productive

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#15 – Pruning: Painful but Productive

I pruned my trees this past fall, and surprisingly, I actually enjoyed this activity. I love being outside and doing something physical after working on the computer all day. My kids helped, but they were less enthusiastic about it. When I told them that I was enjoying the chore they asked me why, and that got me thinking. I began pruning the trees because they were growing too low and getting in the way of the lawn mower. But after finishing a few of the trees I began to see how much better that area of the yard was looking. Instead of a big...

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#14 – Give Me a Sign, Or Not

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#14 – Give Me a Sign, Or Not

Have you ever prayed for a sign to help you make a decision? I have. I was not a Christian at the time of my abortion. I believed in God, and I in fact prayed to Him constantly, but I did not know who Jesus was. Well, I did know the baby Jesus who lay in the manger under our Christmas tree every year, but I didn’t know the man He grew into and the ultimate act He carried out for us on the cross. I did not know the Bible either, so I did not have a strong foundation to my faith. Sadly when I asked God if He was ok with me having an...

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