Google PlusFacebookTwitter

#17 – Cancer Sucks & Abortion Sucks Too

By on Jan 17, 2014 in Blog, Resources | 0 comments

There’s no question, cancer sucks! But what many don’t realize is that abortion sucks too. I’ve gone through both, and speaking only for myself here, abortion was harder for me to recover from and live with than cancer was. I was diagnosed with colon cancer 2 1/2 years ago at the age of 38. The word cancer was so scary to me and my husband, but we instantly made phone calls and posts on our Facebook pages asking for prayers and support. We were instantly flooded with a ton of support, love and encouragement, from my family and friends, co-workers, church and support circle for which I am so incredibly thankful! And the support kept coming all the way through my surgery, chemo and beyond. More than two years later people are still asking me how I’m doing. Sometimes I forget that I’m a cancer survivor and that this very simple question has a dual meaning for...

#16 – Abortion Grief

By on Jan 16, 2014 in Blog, Resources | 0 comments

Abortion grief is both similar and different for many people. For some, the grief is immediate, while for others it takes years before the full weight of the matter is felt and/or recognized. Sometimes there is a mysterious grief or depression that is not even linked back to the abortion even when seeing a counselor or therapist. My grief was both immediate and insidious. Since I didn’t want the abortion to begin with, I had to sort of turn off my brain in order to carry myself through the motions of that day. At the same time I turned off my emotions related to that day as well. But my brain wouldn’t remain switched off over time. And over time, the sorrow I had denied began to surface and bouts of depression began to creep in. Some people have anniversary grief on or around the due date that their baby would have been born. My anniversary grief was different. It revolved...

#15 – Pruning: Painful but Productive

By on Jan 15, 2014 in Blog, Resources | 0 comments

I pruned my trees this past fall, and surprisingly, I actually enjoyed this activity. I love being outside and doing something physical after working on the computer all day. My kids helped, but they were less enthusiastic about it. When I told them that I was enjoying the chore they asked me why, and that got me thinking. I began pruning the trees because they were growing too low and getting in the way of the lawn mower. But after finishing a few of the trees I began to see how much better that area of the yard was looking. Instead of a big mass of trees growing into each other, blocking out the sunlight and fighting over the limited nourishment from the ground, they now became distinguishable from each other, and the light coming through made everything look brighter and better. I think watching this transformation take place was part of the enjoyment of the chore, and then the...

#14 – Give Me a Sign, Or Not

By on Jan 14, 2014 in Blog, Resources | 0 comments

Have you ever prayed for a sign to help you make a decision? I have. I was not a Christian at the time of my abortion. I believed in God, and I in fact prayed to Him constantly, but I did not know who Jesus was. Well, I did know the baby Jesus who lay in the manger under our Christmas tree every year, but I didn’t know the man He grew into and the ultimate act He carried out for us on the cross. I did not know the Bible either, so I did not have a strong foundation to my faith. Sadly when I asked God if He was ok with me having an abortion, I did not go to the Bible for guidance. Instead, I prayed for a sign. Now I know that God can give us signs, and Jesus provided signs and miracles when He was here on Earth. But what I didn’t know then was that our enemy is an imitator of God and can provide us with signs too. As I’ve shared on Day 5, I had not gone to my dad for advice....

#13 – A Jury of My Peers

By on Jan 13, 2014 in Blog, Resources | 0 comments

I’m off to jury duty this morning, my first time ever! I’ve been wanting to get summoned for so long, I began to wonder if my name had gotten lost somehow. As I prepare to experience this civic duty, which I understand may result in my sitting and waiting and being dismissed for a multitude of reasons, I am glad to finally experience it anyway. And it’s getting me thinking too, about the jury of my peers, you the readers. As Sanctity of Human Life Sunday on January 22 approaches, I’m beginning to ponder the purpose of this day. President Ronald Reagan proclaimed this day back in January of 1984 as a day to reflect. Here are a few words from his proclamation, We have been given the precious gift of human life, made more precious still by our births in or pilgrimages to a land of freedom. It is fitting, then, on the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision in Roe...

#12 – “You did abortion? WHY?”

By on Jan 12, 2014 in Blog, Resources | 4 comments

I knew I would be telling my son about my abortion at a younger age than I had told my girls when they were twelve and eleven. He was only eight, but ever since I began working at a crisis pregnancy center and explaining to him what abortion is and about my job of counseling people who were considering it or had already done it, he had some beyond-his-years understanding of it and questions about it. I have also come a long way since my daughter first asked me if she was the first baby in my belly, and I had instinctively lied to her. By the time my son was old enough to learn that he had a brother and a sister in heaven I realized that I could tell him the truth at all times, but that I could give it to him in parts, as he was ready for them. So he’s known about my babies in heaven for a long time, and he’s known about abortion for several years now. He just didn’t know the...

#11 – “Would I Still Be Here?”

By on Jan 11, 2014 in Blog, Resources | 0 comments

Telling my middle child about my abortion brought some emotions I wasn’t expecting. I wasn’t planning on this coming up so soon, but when I was asked to share my story before our church congregation on Sanctity of Human Life Sunday a few years ago I knew that I couldn’t agree until my daughter knew my story. I certainly didn’t want her to learn of it from anyone but me. With only a week to prepare and my family’s busy schedule, I wasn’t able to bring her out to the retreat site like I had done with her sister. So I called her into my bedroom. Her face paled, and I could tell that she thought she was in trouble. “Don’t worry honey,” I comforted her, “You’re not in trouble. This is about me.” With great relief, she plopped onto my bed, propped herself on her elbows and stared at me with huge, innocently...

#10 – “I Was First, Right?”

By on Jan 10, 2014 in Blog, Resources | 1 comment

My oldest daughter had been asking me since she was 2 ½ years old, ever since her little sister was born, if she was the first baby in my belly. Actually, she didn’t ask it in true question form, it was more of a confirmation request, like, “I was the first baby in your belly, right Mom?” I could tell that she took pride in this false rank. When she first asked me this question all those years ago I was dumbstruck. I reacted instinctively and quickly lied, “Yes, honey. You were the first baby in my belly.” And then I quickly tried to change the subject. I didn’t know what else to say at the time. Then when my son was born, she began asking the question again. And again, I hadn’t yet resolved a way to tell her the truth without crushing her pride, so I continued to lie to her. Telling my children about my abortion was definitely one of the more...